Attention-seeking.

I have a very close friend called...Jen. So Jen and I have been friends for years, have a huge amount of history and stories. We have always enjoyed each other's company and agree on most things which has allowed us to create a strong bond. One of the things I love(d) most about her is her ability to laugh at herself. In my eyes that's a very attractive quality. Recently however, she has started to get on my nerves and takes herself far too seriously.

We're both very high achievers and are going to be studying the same course at university. Up until recently, I was very excited by this and even hoped that we would end up going to the same university so that we would have many more years together. In the past month we have received offers from several of the same universities. Instantly Jen decided she wanted to go to a medium sized university around 4 hours away. I was less certain and so considered the idea for several weeks. For some reason Jen decided that I should be offered no advice with this and instead she would repeatedly inform me that she "is definitely going to university X and so there's no point in discussing the universities with me." I respected this view but quietly felt it was unnecessarily narrow minded.

During this period, Jen also decided that every single person she knew HAD to be informed of her decision to go to university X and her acceptance there. She received continual congratulations and all eyes were on her for around a fortnight. By the end of these weeks, I had decided I wanted to go to a different university, university Y. University Y was in a bigger, more vibrant city, was nearer to other large cities and had excellent prospects after graduation. Upon hearing of my decision (and once people had stopped congratulating her), Jen decided that in fact she no longer wanted to go to university X and she may go to university Y. She expresses this change of heart by wailing about it all day long and informing everyone of how hard her decision is while practicing her amateur dramatics (hiding her face while resting her head on her desk, talking in an exasperated, panicked tone CONSTANTLY). Now, she is one of my best friends. But seriously, WHY must people cause such an issue over things! Yes it is an important decision but 90% of my year group have had to make a similar choice in the past few months yet for some reason, Jen believes hers to be 10 times more important. Her problem becomes EVERYONES problem. I can only conclude she loves the attention.

This little episode has made me think back over all the other times she has behaved in this way and I have humoured her. There are more than I would have thought:

• We were both given awards for being highest attaining male and female in our school. I was honoured and happy to accept the award. Jen cried, informed everyone, received gifts from numerous people and was congratulated continually. Despite the fact it's a joint award Jen received around 90% of the attention for it. This did not bother me at the time as I don't like being showered with compliments but now that I look back, Jen was a little too keen to inform everyone of her success.
• When Jen had to make a presentation to a collection of staff at our school she spent the entire 48 hours beforehand informing most people she knew how nervous she was. She continually looked to me for reassurance and would discuss, at great length, about how she's not capable to do this. What is frustrating is six other people (myself included) had to do similar presentations to the same staff on different days and did so without so much as a peep. Yes we were nervous, but we did not feel the need to have everyone fawn over us and tell us how great we are to overcome this. Of course, Jen performed the presentation perfectly and it was received very well...
• For as long as I can remember Jen has come out of exams telling me (and everyone else) that she has failed the exam, her life is over, she won't get into uni and she can't believe how badly she has done. A few months later the results are released and she will consistently be in the top three of every exam she takes. I have grown to take her exam worries with a pinch of salt but others who are used to only just passing exams are not so forgiving.
• When telling me about arguments with her parents, Jen will often speak of how her mum or dad asked her to clear something up or do them a favour. This was apparently ludicrous and Jen would respond by shouting and bawling her eyes out about how stressful her life is. Her parents would then be shocked and comfort her. Before, I would sympathise with her believing she was in fact very stressed. But I have realised she does no more than I do, is expected of much less than I am and still complains much, much more than I do. Nevermind the fact that breaking down and shouting is a ridiculous response to someone asking you to do a basic task for them.

I think Jen is just very immature. She only has one older brother and is much more successful academically then he ever was. She is also more successful in her studies than her parents have been. This causes her parents to spoil her when she does well and also give her a great amount of leniency when she throws a tantrum about how stressful everything is for her. They did not reach the same level she has and so take her word for it when she claims it is incredibly difficult, giving her special treatment to accommodate this. She has learnt she can get away with attention-seeking behaviour.

On the other hand, I am the youngest of four very high achievers and my parents both went to university. This means my family are aware of the stresses and, while they are accommodating, they do not put up with childish tantrums. I think my change in attitude over the past few months has shortened my patience for this kind of behaviour but in all honesty, it is incredibly selfish and I am surprised I am only noticing it now. I really hope Jen decides to stick to her original university choice as I think we are more likely to remain friends in that situation. If she does go to my university, there is no chance I will put up with five more years of “The Jen Show”.